June 12, 2009

Sneeze freeze...

You can’t touch your chest with the tip of your tongue goes a statement in the list of science facts I chanced upon. Neither can you lick your own elbow. But what does say you would be doing is that you will be definitely trying out if you can or cannot as soon as you read the challenge. There, I got you as well. But I am bogged by another science fact that claims you can’t sneeze without closing your eyes.

Impossible to sneeze without closing your eyes? All right that was all scientific. I wonder who were paid to do such researches. Maybe they just didn’t come across a man with a tongue long enough. It’s not in me to brag but I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue. I am sure more than half of you cannot do it at all. It’s not a thing I enjoy doing given the weird taste I get especially when I have just blown my nose. But yes, science does not claim this feat unachievable nor does it laud men who can do it. Perhaps they would if only I had a tongue like that of a frog’s so that I could not only smack my chest with it but also swap the fly lying on the tip of my elbow.

Lets get back to sneezing. I tickled my nose with a ticklish stuff and yeah three test runs and I am surprised that it is true. I couldn’t just sneeze whilst keeping my eyes open. Wonderful science discovery. But I am more impressed by what my friend had to say.

My third year in college and I was accompanying a friend to the bank. Just as we got out of his apartment I had the good grace of sneezing. He swore light profanities at me instantly. Whatever provoked him to say that only added brine to the being within me that he just wounded. Never sneeze when you are venturing out, he tells me, it brings bad luck. I shrug it off. Anyway who enjoys being called a jinx? Approaching the premises we indeed find the bank closed. My friend scowls at me. I would have bought his story if it hadn’t been a weekend.

Well, I would not have had a doubt it at all cost, until yesterday. Rushing home after office I happened to sneeze just as I was getting behind the wheel and starting the engine of my car. I wondered if it would bring me bad luck. I shrugged it off. It wasn’t a new venture. I was headed home, what possibly could go wrong. I take the usual twirl around the town and into the expressway as I zoom home. The taxi that I just overtake seems unimpressed and honks at me. I meet his gaze through my rear view mirror and nearly stick out my tongue at him. He honks again. I hit my leg on the gas and try to speed up, but he seems to catch up with me easily. He honks again. I look at him through the mirror and see him pointing at me. Getting him, I stop to find that one of the wheels is just punctured. Believe me, you will not enjoy replacing a punctured wheel on an expressway, that too during rush hours.

Well sneezing without closing your eyes is one thing, but doing so just as you are venturing out, another. Anyone who can vouch for this doubt of mine?


  1. Well Dear, the force inside a human body is so great that if you tried sneezing with your eyes open, your eye balls just might pop out and bounce a while near your feet. And this implies that you might explode if you were in a vacuum, if it weren't for the containing properties of your skin and the circulatory sys.

    BTW, I don't buy the brag about your ability to touch the tip of your snotty nose with your tongue...you snakey! hehe.

    I totally enjoyed the humorous piece. Pls keep writing.

  2. Hey mister

    I liked your welcome note and description on your profile.
    Hmm I was never superstitious so wont believe in such stuff .But I can imagine you practicing the stunts of your tongue every place ewww Yucky---told you to be careful with that boneless tongue.
    Loved the way you maneuver around with writing skills.


  3. Ok..that's another scientific reasoning I 'ld like to forego KC. Sounds scary. Your not believing me won't snatch the capability of my tongue off my nose. And yeah, I 'll write stuffs, but you better start believing in what I say. :P

    Writing is a practice I enjoy, but not sticking my tongue to all nook and cranny. I will have to heed your advice; not everything tastes good. hehe.